British Summers/Fifty Shades of Sunburn

It's been - I dare say - hot outside. The sun is staying up longer, skies are blue, it's brighter and warmer.

I don't like it.

Whenever it's sunny, and liquid vitamin D starts falling out of the sky, people go weird. Sunglasses are on, legs are out and crowds emerge to photosynthesise in any patch of sun available.

And that would be fine. Think of the ideal summer:

• Picnics on the grass
• Sunbathing in the park
• Drinks outdoors at cafes and pubs
• Walks on the beach
• Shopping on the high street

Isn't that lovely?

The reality is - there are bugs everywhere, you can't go anywhere because of the crowds and it's too hot. Worst of all, for some reason, hot weather brings out the obnoxious people. Noticed there has to be more police out when it's sunny? There's always a group who down alcohol (why does the sun make people drink loads?), take off their tops to burn their beer bellies and harass at passer-bys. So, summer is more anxiety-generating rather than relaxing.

As a result, I genuinely spend most of my summers inside/in certain 'safe' areas. Inside is wonderful:

• I can drink hot tea without sweating
• I can relax/nap without worrying my things will get stolen
• I don't have to squint to see anything
• I don't have to wear sunglasses all the time and look like I'm from The Matrix.

Or you can stack them and look as fabulous as me

• I can use my laptop without getting screen glare
• I can read without getting eye glare
• Nature doesn't add to my drink or food
• Bugs don't crawl on me
• There are no rowdy crowds to make me anxious

Taking this photo was genuinely terrifying. Bees are cute until they fly at you

I'd like to spend a day in the sun. I hear outside is nice. Maybe I'll start by going into the garden more often.

Hope you're all enjoying your day, whether inside or outside.